It was by far one of the most amazing days of my life... it was the beginning of my happily ever after.
Immediately after the wedding I started with the baby talk. Liam was nearly 3 years old and I thought it was the perfect time to try for another.
My husband thought we should wait at least a year before planning for baby #2 but I was convinced it was the right time.
We set up an appointment with the gynecologist who told me I had some ovarian cysts. He started me on a series of medication for one month. When I went for the follow up, they were all gone. However, he said that I would probably not be able to conceive for at least 6 months.
Of course I was disappointed but it was not the end of the world, after all, he did not say I could not have children at all, did he?
For days I told my husband I just do not feel right, something about me was not right. He was very confused being a man and all :)
On 25 April 2012 my husband and I had a date night. We did a bit of shopping then we had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. He wanted to order a mojito for me as it is my favorite cocktail, I asked him to order a virgin one instead. He frowned and looked at me suspiciously. I told him "I have been telling you I just don't feel right, so I think I am pregnant". At first he could not believe his ears, after all the Dr said at least 6 months and its only been 2.
We agreed to buy the test on our way home after dinner.
We got home and I hurried upstairs because I was so excited to take this test... it was POSITIVE!!! I grabbed the test and ran down the stairs as fast as I could.
When I saw my husband sitting on the couch, watching TV, I started doing my happy dance, singing "I told you so".
We were very excited about the new addition that would be joining our family. We counted down the days to each visit, each time we'd get to see our baby on the screen and listen to the heart beat.
Liam was very excited to be getting a sibling. At first he wanted a brother to play cricket with but he soon changed his mind and said he wanted a sister instead.
At 13 weeks, Dr told us it looks like we're having a girl but that we shouldn't go out buying any pink clothes just yet. At the next visit, I was 17 weeks and Liam went along with us. Dr confirmed we would be having a girl. We were all over the moon, Liam more than anyone else.
My pregnancy was much different to the first. This time I had morning sickness, heart burn that made me vomit as well, swollen feet, backache, body aches. There were nights when I could not sleep because I just couldn't find a very comfortable position to lay in.
Aside from all the aches and pains, I loved carrying my little princess, feeling her move, making bumps in my stomach, singing to her and telling her our excited we were to meet her.
Our birthing plan was obviously to have another elective caesarian section.
Dr confirmed the date for Tuesday 11 December 2012.
Tuesday 11 December 2012:
I booked into hospital at 09:00 that morning. Very excited and anxious to meet my little girl.
I sent my husband to the mall to keep himself from getting bored as I was only supposed to go into theater that afternoon.
I chatted to my family and friends whilst waiting for time to pass, this felt like an eternity!
Lunch time came and I was starving, all I could think about was something to eat... NOW!!
The anesthesiologist came to talk to me about what she was going to do and to find out I have had previous reactions to anesthetics. When she left, I started feeling really anxious. My nerves were all over the place. I told my husband I did not want to have the operation and that I wanted to leave the hospital.
He was completely caught off guard, as I've had a caesarian before and did not react this way.
I think it was the fear of knowing exactly what was going to happen and fearing that something would go wrong.
Soon I was wheeled into theater. My husband had to wait outside, whilst I received my epidural.
I saw the Dr enter the room and I asked if I could please have my husband now, they said he was on his way in.
The procedure started and I was still feeling so tense and anxious. The Dr and his assistant on the other hand we joking around throughout the procedure. I just wanted it to end.
I heard scream, it was my daughter. Dr lifted her up and showed her to me. Tears started rolling down my face and all I thought was wow, she looks exactly like Liam and is so beautiful.
Nurses took her and put her in an incubator and she and her dad went off to the nursery while Dr closed me up.
I was wheeled into recovery where my blood pressure and heart rate was tested for a few minutes.
Minutes later I arrived in my room and it was empty, I thought my daughter and husband would be waiting for me.
Nurses settled me in and finally I got to hold my little girl. It was such a magical moment.
No words can describe what a mother feels and experiences when she sees her baby for the first time. My heart was content and I felt complete.
Leah Miche' Kolbe was born on Tuesday 11 December 2012 at 13:45, weighing 3.21kg.
Delivered by Dr Leon October at N1 City Netcare Hospital.
I was very excited for Liam to meet his little sister.
My husband left to pick him up. He was so shy when he saw us for the first time. He did not want to touch her at first. All he kept asking is whether she could go home with us that night. He was not happy that we were staying and he had to go home.
The first night was Leah was great, she latched perfectly and slept on my chest all night. The following night was difficult... she would not latch and was constantly screaming, I did not know what to do. I started crying because I was overwhelmed and I felt so helpless.
One of the nurses came to help me, she suggested to give baby formula that night, I refused. She said to try the breast again. Eventually I gave in and we fed Leah some formula from a sippy cup and she slept for 7 hours straight.
As the nurse predicted, the next day went better and we were both happy.
We were discharged from hospital on Friday 14 December 2012. I was so excited to go home and spend some time with Liam.
The first two days at home were tough. Liam was feeling very down and left out, as he could not understand why I was spending all my time with Leah and not him.
This broke my heart!!
One of my biggest fears whilst pregnant was that we would neglect Liam when the new baby arrived. I explained the situation to Liam as best as I could and he seemed to be very understanding.
The love between my kids was soon flourishing. Liam could not get enough of his little sister and all he wanted to do was kiss and hug her. His voice lit up her eyes and made her smile.
The challengers of being a working mom of two and a wife at the same time soon came crumbling down on me.
I would feel tired, frustrated, sad and even angry at times because I was just feeling as though I am not coping, as though I was not cut out for all of this.
Gratefully, I was blessed with an amazing husband and a wonderful father to our kids.
He didn't judge me but understood every emotion I displayed and he supported me, allowed me to have my time out without me having to ask for it and he took care of the kids for me when I needed him to.
Having a girl was so different to having a boy, I was naturally more over protective than I was with Liam. The connection between a mother and her daughter is so different to the one from a mother and son but they are both such strong connections and I am eternally grateful to have the opportunity to experience them both.
It was nearly a year after Leah's birth when I finally started feeling like myself again, like I was starting to breathe again. I felt like a woman again and not just a wife and mother.
I am in awe of what God has blessed me with and continues to bless me with, in awe of the strength I have that I didn't ever think I possessed.
I love being a mom to my pigeon pair because they are the reason I wake up every morning, the reason I work as hard as I do not be a failure in their eyes one day.
My bond with each child continues to grow in very different ways.
In so many ways they are exactly alike and in others they are so different, they are individuals.
I love them equally and nothing and no one will ever take their place. I cherish every moment I am able to spend with them and seeing their love for one another grow, brings joy to my heart.
They are my heart and soul walking outside of my body on a daily basis.
They are my entire world and more.
I Felt That My Family Was Now Complete!
NB: Part 3 of My Growing Family will follow on 21 January 2014.
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